My body turns hot. Breathing is stagnated. Remember to breathe. The air somehow still flows. Keep talking, ignore the sudden drip. Please don't let there be a rive flowing freely from my armpit! Fingers and palms become clammy; suddenly feet are swimming inside shoes. My feet aren't webbed? Are they? I'm definitely not a frog - or maybe I am? Stream of consciousness.
A scent, fresh lavender. Oh crap. My Secret's out. I placed my hand on the desk, there's a fresh wet
imprint left. Yes, I am nervous. My stomach grumbles, or wait - was that my stomach? Oh please Lord, tell me I didn't ... good, I didn't. That the last thing I need kids teasing me about. Prayers under my breath,
Please let me do this right, Lord; don't let them laugh at me. Please Lord, let my zipper be zipped, and please, don't let me rip my pants. Crap, I knew I should have worn my Spanx.
My mind and body are at war.
A beaming smile: "Good Morning Class!"
Some moans, others cheerful: "Morning, Miss Aden."
Thank you, God. "Let's get started."
The battle is over, my composure is at rest.
Here's a cheery song! Yay for a fabulous semester!
As always,
Ms. Aden
Dear Amber,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing my, uh, I mean YOUR personal anxieties about bodily functions and malfunctions when facing a group of kids. You aptly captured my, uh, YOUR thoughts perfectly. As a matter of fact, if I didn't know better, I would have sworn I wrote this in my own head a few hundred times, just not so eloquently, so perkily, so desperately, or so honestly. (Yes, the 5th grade is reviewing adverb use this week...). I've enjoyed your sense of adventure this past semester and wish you well in your student teaching experience. Have a wonderful holidays, too!
Sincerely,
Lisa Maliszewski