Let's be honest here, I'm a softy - I can't help it. I am a very happy person who doesn't have everything, but I have been blessed abundantly.
Well, there's a student in my classroom who sits all alone in the front row (a chair away from me). This individual hardly ever smiles, there seems to be a constant look of sadness, and loneliness on her face. It has been so hard for me to look at her without my something pulling at my compassionate teacher heart-strings. It has finally bugged me to the point where I gained some courage on Wednesday and asked this student, "Hey, ------! How is your day going? She looked at me with astonishment and said, "It's going fine, thanks". Well, Rome wasn't built in a day, at least I was able to get her to speak to me. I want all of the students to feel like they can talk to me without hesitation. Today, I tried my luck a bit more. I said, "Good morning, -----, How are you?" she replied, "Fine, thanks. You?" I replied "I'm doing well. Did you have a good week?" she said, "Yes, I did." I smiled and said "That's great!". I saw her sad face turn into a slight smile. Isn't is amazing how much better a simple smile can make someone feel? Well, this student doesn't keep eye contact with me; however I plan on breaking through her tough outer core and finding out who she is.
Sometimes I have to take a step back and look at situations with a different perspective. There could be something going on in this student's life that could be keeping her from opening up to others, or she could just be naturally shy. Like previously mentioned, my ultimate goal is to make my students feel absolutely comfortable speaking to me.
I was researching online about working with shy students. This website refers to children, but it can easily be transformed for shy teenagers as well.
http://www.brighthubeducation.com/teaching-methods-tips/35239-building-confidence-in-shy-children/
http://www.brighthubeducation.com/teaching-methods-tips/35239-building-confidence-in-shy-children/
I also found a quote that speaks so well about the importance of a simple smile:
"A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give. ~Author Unknown
My dear friends, if you see someone, whether it is a student, colleague, or a complete stranger that looks as if they are carrying the world on their shoulders, give them a smile. It will make a difference. J
Adieu and keep on smiling!
Ms. Aden
Ms. Aden
Oh, and how about a little music to cheer you up?
(Nothing like Nat King Cole to make you smile!)
(Nothing like Nat King Cole to make you smile!)
Amber, I know that you’ll have no problem getting through to your students. I, like you, feel the same way about getting through to my students and wanting them to feel comfortable talking to me. It is amazing when one opens up and lets you in when you least expect it. You’re going to be a great teacher and I think that students will open up to you and remember you as that great teacher that always made them smile.
ReplyDeleteAmber,
ReplyDeleteI am testing my responses to see if they are being saved..
Amber,
ReplyDeleteI was struck by your post because of its gentle nature and the characteristics I share with its topic. I have linked an article which speaks of shyness as just a personality characteristic up to a real psychological disorder called social anxiety disorder.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/singletons/200811/shyness-biologically-based-mental-disorder-or-personality-quirk
I can see from your posts, and also knowing you from class, you are so kind to your students. I know with gentle prodding you will quickly become friends with the student you speak of. I can put myself in her shoes and picture you reaching out to me. I am still at times just like her. All I would like is for someone to make the first move with a simple, “Hello!”
Researcher Judith Blake states, “only children may actually be more outgoing and have more friends than kids from larger families."
“Based on evidence”, says Susan Newman, Ph.D, “it's safe to strike "shy" from the only child stereotypical label list.”
In my opinion these quotes strike me as not completely true. I do have a say so, as I am an only child.
I am not sure what the ratio of siblings to friends might be, but I do not have many friends. I have acquaintances or colleagues I speak to often, but I do not call them to share basic news of the day nor do I Facebook them with general silliness. This is not to say they couldn’t be a friend in the future, the relationship just hasn't deepened. I think I am like the girl you have in your class. I’m shy. I’m carefully and secretly watching those around me for reactions. I need to get a sense of the atmosphere before I stick my neck out there. The outside might, or might not, appear calm but on the inside I’m just dying to talk to you or to give the answer to a question that has been asked. So, striking me, and possibly your student, from the “shy list” is a bit hasty. But, bearing a label can be tricky as well.
I liked the article you provided. It gives helpful tips for opening up a shy child and how to build confidence in them. I would agree, on my behalf, they seem like they would work. It does make me question my own parents, are they shy? Did I learn how to be non-social from them? It sparks new light on my apprehensive lack of involvement in the social world.
Thankfully there are teachers like you who will make the first move. It is because you care for those around you that I, and your student, will be more likely to succeed because we feel safe.
Thank you for giving the simple and free gift of a smile and a hello. It really does make a difference!